Mother's Day 2010

"My mother's love was as unobtrusive and crucial as the oxygen in the air I breathed. It would prove so sustaining that I would survive in the world without ever experiencing that quality of love from any other person." -Ellen Holly


To say the least, my mother's day is a little different this year.

As far back as I can remember, I have dreamed of becoming a mom. A mamma. I looked up to my mom, more than words can say. As a child, my mom was my best friend. As a teenager, she was my mom (sigh, and the teenage eye roll), but also my friend. After I got married, she became my best friend again. I love her more than words can even began to express.

The day I became a mother, was the best day of my life. That and the day I got married. Period. Everyone tries to tell you how you will feel when you have your first child and the love that you will feel for them. But no words can tell you. ITs a love that you have to experience for yourself. A love that you can't imagine and a love that is like no other.

I'm very thankful to be on the receiving end of Mother's day this year. So many women who long to have children, can't. And I could have been one of them. God blessed me with the ability to have a child and then blessed me with a wonderful little girl. The love babies have for their mommies is incredible. I am her world. How wonderful it is to know you are loved so unconditionally.

I thank GOD for my mom. And then I pray for her. I pray good things for her. And the best part about that, is I know she prays for me too. There is no doubt in my mind that my mom prays for all three of us kids, plus Joe, plus M.E.

My mom was a stay at home mom. I ate it up with a spoon. Of course, I didn't really know any different. My mom and dad financially struggled because my mom was a stay at home mom. But they made it, and us kids NEVER went without. We thought we did. When we went without a toy we wanted or some clothes we "had to have" (that was more me than Amanda and Graham. lol). Both sets of my grandparents worked until they were physically unable to. So it was either mom work and put us with a sitter, or her stay at home with us. And she stayed at home and raised us. She did work at the grill when Amanda was a baby and Amanda went with her to work. When the grill closed, she was pregnant with me and stayed at home until I was in the 5th grade. That is when she started substitute teaching.

You know, your parents always tell you that you'll understand something when you become a parent. Those words were so true. I DO understand more now that I'm a parent. And my child is only 5 months old. I can only imagine what other things I'll understand when she gets bigger.

I'm so very blessed and so very thankful to have a wonderful mother, wonderful mother in law, wonderful grandmother(S), wonderful grandmother in laws. I also have two aunts that love me just like their daughters. Aunt Karen never had kids and Aunt Mary didn't have any daughters. Amanda and I ARE their daughters.

Ok, enough of this mushy stuff. My point is - God had blessed me beyond words and I can only wish and strive to be the best mother I can be to my little girl. If I do half as good as my mother, I'll be ok.